Vespair

Anarchy.

I write for the ones without a voice.

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editing Black Waltz.
Black Swan
yoshiyuki_ly
Still.

I'm doing my best to not let this go over 180k words total. I've stopped working on new chapters until my existing ones are actually done. I could be lazy, write the next four and a half chapters and be done with it, but then there would be loose threads. Nothing substantial, but it would bother me. I'm waiting until my classes are done until I go back to things full-time. The term ends on Sunday and I'm off until the fall. Only a few more courses after that and I'm finished with this degree.

Back to Black Waltz--there's a certain character that's turned into a Mary Sue now that I've made her purpose in the story more obvious. I didn't make it clear before, leaving it up to interpretation. I thought it would be fine to keep things that way. Then I realized that wasn't genuine, which caused me to make all these changes that I talked about in my last post. My initial intention just wasn't to bring that much attention to it, and yet by not making things clear, it seemed like I couldn't commit or that I was afraid to. That would have been wasted potential.

Now I'm going back and retooling multiple scenes in almost every chapter. This Mary Sue issue is annoying. The problem is that she's supposed to be "this way" for one of the main characters. The context/justification is there, anyway.

Other than that, I'm playing Nioh. The DLC just came out a few days ago. PvP is a mess, as I expected. Someone tried to hit me once and then run away until the timer ran out. I have an A in agility, so I easily caught up and hit them in the back until they died. I don't think I'll go back to PvP after that. I do like the new Odachi. Haven't gotten far in the story. Just up to the first boss. I put discord on it right away and beat it down in a minute or so with dual swords in low stance, constantly staggering and reapplying my elemental debuffs. Also, the new yokai reminds me of those snake-head mobs in the Forbidden Woods in Bloodborne.

I can't take any more of Drakengard 3. Going through these samey forest levels to get to Three is annoying. The devs tried to switch things up with the level design and floating enemies. It's not fun.

Besides writing and video games, I feel like I don't care about much. I'm engaged with politics, the news, and all the issues I should be concerned about, but there's this distance. I accept the inevitability of my powerlessness; that being worried or stressed about something won't make change happen any faster. At the same time, I know this mindset's desensitizing me to everything except my stories. I have to keep checking myself on that.

Black Waltz has to be it. It has to be everything. I don't feel any pressure. It's just something I have to do. Something I want to do. That's all.

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