I write for the ones without a voice.

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This win at The Oscars put a real smile on my face. First LGBT film and film with an all-black cast to win Best Picture. And an indie film, at that. I'm so happy. I almost didn't go see this because I was in the middle of some mess at the time. Watching this movie helped remind me that I didn't need the person that had been taking up most of my energy. This was at the tail-end of the drama, but she was still on my mind. Then I watched this; everything else faded away. I got a nice reminder that I'm a servant to my muse and my readers first and foremost: writing is my thing and nothing should get in the way of that. No one.

I had my shots at being normal.

I'm done resisting this non-function functionality that I function with.

Escaping the drama from the past few months--and then watching Moonlight--helped me see that nothing can break me. If that didn't break me, then nothing can. I stayed true to my values instead of caving in and doing what someone else wanted--as I had done again and again in the past, making things worse until I finally self-destructed as my soul's way of making its voice heard.

I'm not doing that again.

If standing up for myself and finding out the honest truth makes me a bad person, then I will gladly be the villain in this story:

Vespair. Anathema.
Stella and Raine. Black Waltz.

I'm getting there. I finished Nioh (got the platinum trophy) and Yakuza 0; I have plenty of time to work between now and when Mass Effect Andromeda comes out. I'd like to get NieR: Automata, but I still haven't finished the first game on the PS3. I'll make progress on it as I finish chapters of Black Waltz. I'm overwhelmed at the moment because the transition from the fic (Ruska) to this manuscript is so damn steep. I didn't expect these changes to come about. But I shouldn't be surprised. This, what's coming out now, is what I was too scared to write before.

Writing with my fears is a constant roller coaster. A hurricane. Everything that people from my past called me at some point.

That's my strength. I'll put it to good use.

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