A lot's changed since this time last year. I don't remember how I felt, but I knew that something had to give soon. Something had to change. About a month later, I made the change. It hurt for a long while--things seemed bright for a while, and then fell back down--and then I was okay again. As I write this, I have the music from the Life Is Strange application on my PS4 playing. Once I started playing this in January of this year, I knew that something would change. This paragraph is cyclical. I felt like I knew Chloe and Max from somewhere, or that I would meet them some time soon.
I was right.
This game, Persona 4 Golden, Shin Megami Tensei IV, and Persona 5 defined my year for me. Final Fantasy XV was up there, too, but didn't surpass my expectations. I did get platinum for that tonight after almost a month--my first platinum in several months. I only finished one book this year, Venus and Lysander, and started the Ruska re-write. Ruska is still on hold for a number of reasons I still can't get into. Artistically, I've grown more this year than in the past three or so years combined. I'm looking forward to seeing it for myself once I continue my current manuscript.
I wish I could tell you what I'm going through today, and have been going through. I wish I could tell you how much it's changed me, and will continue to change me for the better. I'm at the stage now where I'm waiting. Waiting on time to pass, waiting on strength and hope to transfer. There's nothing else I can do except wait. That should free up my time and my priorities, but as the days pass, I feel the weight of this wait pressing down on me more and more. It's sapping away my enjoyment for the things I used to enjoy--this is one reason why I'm waiting to write.
I should hate this feeling.
It's all I have of what I'm waiting for.