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I write for the ones without a voice.

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too much pressure.
Both literally and figuratively.

Almost every time I wake up, I have a migraine. I have these intense dreams that mirror current writing projects. This problem used to come up every now and then. These days, it's far more frequent. I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing. It keeps me from focusing on a manuscript, but I don't think that's so bad at the moment.

I can write. No real writer's block. I feel a certain pressure not to do it right now. I also get this feeling every now and then. It's as if I know intrinsically that I need to experience something first. Then I should sit back down and continue. My intuition vaguely tells me it has something to do with gaming. It'd be a waste to ignore this, so I've set Ruska aside for the time being. This goes against my tentative plans to publish Ruska early next year. Oh well. I'd rather things take a bit longer and turn out better. If I rush it, that'd be the end of me.

Once Venus and Lysander's published, I'll send off Twisted Allure. I'm almost done changing around the details of that one. Because of the sexual themes, I don't want to label it as young adult. New adult fits better. Publishing this is important to me because I don't want to set a precedent with The Scorpion's Empress or Ruska. Those two titles feature D/s with a love story. I don't like the idea of people thinking I only write one type of romance. I have more range than that.

My editor for Venus and Lysander recently sent me his comments on my manuscript. Once I finish looking this over and send it back, I should get to decide on a release date within the coming weeks.

In the meantime, I'll be busy with Japanese studies. I finished my second playthrough on hard for Persona 5, but I have to start yet another one because I missed a few things. I thought I could max the politician's co-op last. No. He just stops showing up in Shibuya at a certain point because he's running for re-election. So that screwed me over. I'll speedrun this third playthrough to wrap up everything else that I missed. Makoto's romance and co-op in general was okay. Just okay. I will definitely see what Haru's romance is like this time. She's an amazing party member in battle, and I really like her personality and thief aesthetic. Her co-op was more engaging than most others, mostly because that's the main way to learn about her character. It's a shame she joins so late in the game.

After that's done, I'll revisit Persona 2, ideally before Final Fantasy XV comes out at the end of next month. P2 has such a great story, but Innocent Sin's gameplay didn't age well. FFXV is mostly out of sight, out of mind for me at the moment. I don't want to hype the game in case it ends up disappointing me. I am worried that Square might alienate long-time fans like me in their current push to get new fans from The Witcher and Dragon Age market (open-world story-driven RPGs). Plus, the recent vids they put out of the English voice actors praising the game like it's the greatest thing ever--it's having the opposite effect on me.

Maybe the game will turn out to be a valuable lesson of what not to do when telling a story. We'll see.

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