Vespair

Anarchy.

I write for the ones without a voice.

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Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse, finished now.
Flynn
yoshiyuki_ly
Took me about the same length as my first SMT IV playthrough--30 hours. Gameplay is an amazing improvement over vanilla SMT IV's flaws. The story and the characters, though...hmm... I didn't intend on geting the Peace ending. This one felt very...Persona...but the Anarchy ending in comparison is so fucked up. There's no real reason to toss Nanashi's friends in the trash other than "because the edgy Irish god Dagda says so." They're not liabilities at all. Annoying, sometimes, and Anime Trope'y at times, but they didn't hold me back in any way. And this is coming from a hermit like me. Plus, have you seen my header?

The game wanted me to go for the Peace ending, so I did. Whereas in SMT IV, I was a few choices off from leaning toward the Neutral ending the first time. It felt like Apocalypse held my hand toward a derivative ending. SMT IV was a real reflection of my morals. But the endgame and overall pacing in Apocalypse really held me the whole way through; the final dungeon and the commentary about and during the last boss was amazing and uniquely Megami Tensei. By the time I got to the Monochrome Forest in SMT IV, I was irritated and just wanted to be done with everything already. Pacing in SMT IV is something I look back on with appreciation, a lot like I do with Persona 3 as a whole.

Could we have SMT IV with Apocalypse's updated gameplay, pacing and exploration? That'd be a 10/10 for me.

I'll write up a review later on today.

As a birthday present to myself, I ordered an indie game called Aragami. It's a stealth game with literal shadow manipulation. Sounds eerily like an idea of mine from my book(s). That won't be here until next week. I would continue with my hard mode NG+ playthrough of Persona 5, but I'd rather save that for later. I signed up for a website that teaches the Japanese radicals and kanji the right way. I memorized everything all wrong before; made for a hell of a time getting through P5 in Japanese. I need to learn things properly, or at least the radicals, before I go back to the import.

Enough about games. Ruska. There's so much going on with that. I feel like I've collected enough experiences and emotions to wrap up this rewrite. But there's also the inevitable fear. I'm afraid to write this only because I don't want to finish it. This is a constant feeling that won't leave me. I have to do this well because it's all I have.

This career, this process, this dependency I have on writing things down is what keeps me from experiencing the very relationships I write about.

Used to upset me. If the Anarchy ending in SMT IV:A had more to do with renouncing lovers; if it was about denying them in favor of staying alone without that suffering, and the game showed the full spectrum of positives and negatives of picking either side; if I had the choice to be alone with this inspiration as my only company, then I would respect that ending more.

What did you expect me to say?

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