I cannot BELIEVE what I thought to include in chapter seven of Venus and Lysander. I thought this would be the chapter with the first major climax of the story. No...not yet. Chapter eight for that. Instead, this concept in chapter seven shocked me. It's really...unique to Lucrezia's character and what makes her tick, but damn. I have to write it lol. It goes nicely with a few concepts in Ruska. All I need to do is find a song to listen to for that bit.
Other than with writing, I feel like I'm stuck on a set path. I have this book and Ruska that I absolutely must publish. Maybe a fourth after that. But after Ruska, I imagine I'll feel lost. Lost and done. Done with a lot of things; over so much more. I don't think this feeling will change by then. Some people want it to change. They don't want me to feel this way. The problem is that I can't ~solve this like I can with everything else.
If I take the first path, I imagine myself sitting in a park during a snowy day, feeling sorry for myself.
If I take the second path, I imagine myself stuck in a situation where I must stay still, even though I want to run far, far away.
If I take the third path--continuing as I am now, and what I intend to do--then I'll find the solution on my own.
She's here now. I'll hold onto her.