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Vespair

Anarchy.

I write for the ones without a voice.

ending.
HP
yoshiyuki_ly
...

I don't want a traditional epilogue.

I'm not satisfied with the current ending I have.

What to fucking do.

I'm going to have to compromise, somehow.

Thematically, for the series, having the final chapter titled Black Sun is great. I'll keep that.

What bothers me the most is:
1. Having a cheesy epilogue
2. Ending it where it is now, self-centered, even though this is thematically consistent with where I'm taking the story
3. Writing something different for the sake of being different is not always productive
4. I'm tired of the writing process. I need a break from it for a few months

I don't want complete closure because then the "To be continued" at the end seems out of place.

I have to find a balance.

Time is ticking.

I only have a couple of weeks to figure this out before I start post-production and get the publication process going, to have everything up on May 1.

Needless to say I'm not in the best mood today.

The crazy thing is: I already have in mind what I want to write, the substance of it. The problem is the tone, the mood. If I don't strike that balance, then my voice will come off as passionless. It will show. I have to set these things aside and write the scene. It's that simple.

I really am exhausted from all of this. What tires me out even more is that my mind won't shut off about this. I can't go a few minutes without thinking about this, or the next book, or Chauvinistic Coquette, or the third book in this series and making sure that everything is cohesive and makes emotional sense and is thematically consistent and is in-character and isn't too restrained or over-the-top or strange--

You get it.

I'll make it work.

--

edit 4/2/19

I found a solution and finished it.

I found a compromise -- more than a compromise, really.

I didn't get to keep everything that I wanted, but what I have now is more than what I thought I knew I needed before.

All that's left is to keep editing.

And even though I'm exhausted, I already know that as soon as I'm done with this, I'll be onto the next thing: editing Chauvinistic Coquette to publish in August 2020 while working on Anathema II.

So much for needing a break.