January 13th, 2018


thank you.

What took ten months before only took ten days.


I finished Life Is Strange: Before the Storm today. I like it overall. It's special to me. The writing is great and Chloe is much better this time around. In the first game, she was selfish and insufferable. Here in the prequel, she's much more well-rounded and grounded. She's more of a lovable dork this time around, too. I enjoy all the small details that went into the entire package, like the comments Chloe makes while exploring, the incremental signs of growth she shows through working on her truck, Chloe's journal entries and her text messages with other characters, and even the clever objectives that Chloe writes on her hand. Rachel also feels like a real person with real worries and real flaws. Her relationship with Chloe is nice, too. The dream sequences were surreal in a good way without trying too hard. No spoilers, but one in particular with a certain "comment" from Victoria at the end made me laugh way too hard at what should have been an awkward moment.

Other than that, playing this game helped to reinforce the importance of the little things. Sometimes I overlook them in favor of the bigger picture when it comes to my writing. I'll work on that.

This song I listed that plays in the game in the second episode...I really like it. I think I'll listen to this on repeat over and over again for the chapter of Chauvinistic Coquette I'm working on now.

I earned two platinums so far from my list: Yakuza 4 and Before the Storm. I crossed out a few games that I know I don't want to bother with. Not until Chauvnistic Coquette and Anathema are finished, anyway. After blazing through Yakuza 4, I'm burnt out on the series. I'll go back to Yakuza 5 later. Next up is Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age--I have to finally kill Yiazmat and then continue with the handful of other trophies I have left. The RNG with the Concurrences is what I'm most annoyed about.


Steady progress with Chauvnistic Coquette. It's coming along. I'm more or less over how awkward it is to write so much of the story out of order. I almost wish I could write a full story of the events between Venus and Astrid in the past. I'm doing my best to write without restrictions or worrying over how long this will be in the end. I'm not as cynical about the story anymore, at least. It took me a while, but I finally fell back in love with the idea of this story. It's all a distraction.

I understand that I have a certain resilience when it comes to setbacks in life. Nothing ever feels like a setback for all that long. I take the negatives and warp them into a story idea, or some way of proving to myself that I'm capable of doing something well even if it didn't work out in real life. It can work out for a story arc instead. It makes me question what my own purpose is. What's the point of me experiencing anything for myself, of living my own life? When I realize that nothing hurts or matters or lingers for all that long anymore, I feel less human and more like a conduit for my stories. So many emotions pass in the moment, but in the back of my mind, I always know that I'll be all right because I have my work to fall back on.

Even when I sense the full extent of someone's cruelty and selfishness and ego, it irritates my sense of justice and decency, not me. The prospects for that future are dead, anyway.

Oh well. It's for the best. I'm happy this way. The implications of all of this aren't lost on me, though.

I don't have much else to say about CC or myself in public. Not for a while, anyway. I'll update you when I reach another milestone that deserves an update.